Pain

I thought I am healed. But I am still broken.

I think I can never be whole in this lifetime.

My relief will certainly come in the afterlife.

Not here. Not now. Not ever on this earth.

I tried to cry, but no tears come out.

So this is what deep pain means.

A well so deep, I can not see its source.

It is as if I’m drowning in a stormy ocean

One cannot fathom how it all began.

I am torn. I am broken.

No one knows how I truly feel.

I may look strong. But I am at my weakest.

No one knows the pain I am in.

—

Penned a month ago. I don’t remember now what this was all about. But when the pain strikes, it surely hits me hard. Some of my most poignant poetry comes from my deepest pains.

Ahon

Kaibigan ko ang pagsusulat kahit noon pa man.

Sa mga panahon na ang isip ko ay naliligaw ng landas.

Sa mga oras na ang puso ko’y napapagod.

Sa mga sandaling gusto ko nang bumitaw.

Ang pagsusulat ko ang siyang nagbibigay linaw sa akin.

Siya rin ang tumutukoy ng aking damdamin.

Minsan na kong naghilom sa pamamagitan ng kanyang kapangyarihan.

Kaya’t alam kong aahon din muli ako sa aking dinaraanan.

What If?

What If?

By Leah Lyn E. Albano

What if Christ was not born,
Then there would be no Christ
To celebrate Christmas.

What if Jesus did not live among the people,
Then they would not know
Who the Master Carpenter is.

What if Christ did not call the disciples,
Then there would be no fishers of men
Who would preach the Good News to the lost and weary.

What if Jesus did not die on the cross,
Then our sins will forever stain our lives,
And we shall carry the burden of our transgressions.

What if Christ did not resurrect on the third day,
Then all the promise of an eternal life
Is but a far cry from the truth that is to be told.

But no, all these,
The birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus
Are all true.

By His blood and grace,
We are offered His salvation from our sins,
If we only receive Him as our personal Lord and Savior.

What if you pray right now,
And ask Jesus to be your Master and Savior?
Wouldn’t that make your celebration of Lent more meaningful?

Young Love, Sweet Love

 

When my emotions get the best of me, lovely words spring forth. This poem was written with the thought of a blossoming love life in my teenage years. It’s so long ago, but I really liked how the words flow from my heart.

Here it is:

Anticipation

By Leah Lyn E. Albano

Bloom forth,

White rose.

The sun waits

For your beauty.

 

Its warmth

Longs to know

Your sweet fragrance,

Your real substance.

 

Bloom now

And see

How the sun

Shall respond.

 

Will it capture

Your sense of purity?

Or will it hide

And let the rain pour?

 

Ironically,

If both shan’t happen,

Wilted or drowned

You shall be.

 

So let the sun

Feel you freely.

Let the rain

Make you grow.

 

Do not mind

Your thorns.

Set aside

Your weeds.

 

For when you bloom

Fully, wonderfully.

The sun shall be there

Shining on you.

 

—

March 16, 1996

Wrong Choices

Wrong choices in relationships are a bitter pill to swallow in one’s young life. I’ve been there and done that. I’m not proud of it but I’ve been in wrong relationships in the past. The lessons I’ve learned after my fall and failure are a but a  glimmer of hope in that painful situation.

Here’s a poem I’ve written after my fall 12 years ago:

COMING BACK

By Leah Lyn E. Albano

Indeed, You are a God

Whose ways and thoughts

Are higher than mine.

I wanted so much to be ‘in love’

That I fell in love with ‘love’.

And forgot my devotion to You.

I walked into a path

That I knew all along was not right.

Yet I ignored all Your Word.

You let me explore life and ‘love’

Yet You knew it was not

The Life and Love You intended for me.

I soon saw myself

Messed up with the mire,

Struggling to get out and be delivered.

All over again,

You led me into a journey

That is confusing and painful.

I questioned Your ways,

But I found myself unworthy

To even continue doing that.

For I began to realize

You have a higher and eternal purpose

For all these things.

I might have been wounded.

But I know now

That pain causes growth.

You called me back to You.

You set my eyes back to You.

You got my heart back to You.

November 27, 2002

—-

I had to go through all the wrong choices for me to finally get into the right direction. And that direction is ultimately finding the right man God chose for me. 🙂

—-