Of Pregnancies and Barrenness

 

If you’ve followed my blogs before, you would know by now that I’m a wife of an OFW and I stay at home with my mother who has retired from her teaching profession. One more detail you’d know is that my husband and I are still childless after five years of marriage.

I’ve asked for prayers for having a child and we’ve taken our own steps of having ourselves checked by the doctor if we are okay.

This month, I’ve visited my doctor (not my OB-Gyne) who has taken care of me since my college days. He knew my history of seizures and clinical depression and it is he who monitors my general health. I’ve consulted him about implications should I become pregnant. He gave insights and recommendations on how I should take care of myself if that time comes. But what struck me most was the realization that it would be risky for me to become pregnant.

I shared the outcome of our session with my husband and I said to him, I feel apprehensive now to get pregnant, just thinking of what might happen upon withdrawal of my maintenance medicines for my health conditions. Maybe, having a child of our own is not in God’s plans for us. My husband and I are in prayerful agreement that we will submit to God’s will whatever it is. But if God so chooses to give us a baby, then we surely welcome it with the trust that God will protect my well-being.

Because of this development, talks about child adoption surfaced again. Our hearts are open to this idea, if it is according to God’s will for our family life.

Now that I let this news out, my heart goes out to all the wives yearning for a child but continue to be barren because of health complications and other reasons. My heart goes out to all the orphans and abandoned children yearning for adoptive mothers.

Maybe the world is made just the way it is so that we will place our full trust in the Sovereign Lord who knows all the reasons behind our trying situations.

As a way of ending this, I remember my aunt saying to me, “if it is God’s will, it will be given; if God will not give it, there’s a reason.” I am hanging on to that.

 

 

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Photo credit to the Pinterest owner

 

 

 

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Open Up My Womb

“It takes time for seed to come up. You don’t expect carrots to come up the day after you plant them, do you? Pray now for tomorrow’s needs.” – Marilyn Hickey on Make Your Day Count

HPIM1471I was looking for inspiration when I came across this passage from the book my friend gave me. Suddenly, it hit me. I may be a wife of nearly three years already. But I am not yet a mother. The closest thing I have become is being a second mom to my preschool students before. But being a mother to my own child is a different matter altogether.

For those years that I have been married, my husband has only been physically present with me for a year. He was destined to work overseas. In the year that we were together, part of those months, I got sick. We’ve been trying to have a baby, but we have not been blessed – just yet. I’ve been frantic about not having a baby, since I’m already in my mid-30s. But my husband will always assure me that it is God who decides when to give the baby. He even assured me, baby or no baby, he will love me no matter what. Isn’t that what matters?

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As I read again the passage I shared earlier in this entry, I realized I should have been praying to God for this desire of ours to have a baby, even when my husband is away. I suddenly prayed to God last night, that He opens up my womb in His most perfect timing, so that I will be prepared to have a baby soon after my husband comes home to be with me, if God wills it to be so.

I think no husband and wife  would desire no children in their family life. That’s why I feel for those who have been barren or those who have been longing to have a child but have not been blessed yet. The Lord only knows and understands their pain.

And so I say, pray Leah for tomorrow’s needs and desires. It takes time for seed to come up. This might be yet another journey that the Lord has in store for you – that of waiting to have your little Randy or little Leah. Just wait and pray.

 

Photo credit: Rommel Quimson